Two and a Half Men
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| Date | Episode # | Title | Network | Rating | Share (↓) | Viewers | Watch/Purchase DVD/Download |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01/02/2012 | Slowly and in a Circular Fashion | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.9 | ||
| 02/06/2012 | The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 13 | ||
| 02/20/2012 | Not in My Mouth! | CBS | 8 | 12 | 13.3 | ||
| 09/27/2012 | 10-001 | I Changed My Mind about the Milk | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.5 | |
| 10/04/2012 | A Big Bag of Dog | CBS | 7.6 | 12 | 12.3 | ||
| 10/25/2012 | That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam | CBS | 8 | 12 | 12.9 | ||
| 11/01/2012 | Ferrets, Attack! | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.7 | ||
| 02/21/2013 | Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 | ||
| 03/14/2013 | Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon | CBS | 7.7 | 12 | 12.2 | ||
| 04/25/2013 | Another Night with Neil Diamond | CBS | 7.2 | 12 | 11.3 | ||
| 03/19/2007 | 04-018 | It Never Rains in Hooterville | CBS | 7.6 | 11 | 11.7 | 
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| 11/03/2008 | 06-006 | It's Always Nazi Week | CBS | 8 | 11 | 12.8 |
|
| 01/16/2012 | A Possum on Chemo | CBS | 7.8 | 11 | 13 | ||
| 02/13/2012 | Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy | CBS | 7.8 | 11 | 12.5 | ||
| 02/27/2012 | The War Against Gingivitis | CBS | 7.5 | 11 | 11.9 | ||
| 03/19/2012 | Palmdale, Ech | CBS | 7.1 | 11 | 11.5 | ||
| 05/14/2012 | Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! | CBS | 7.3 | 11 | 11.5 | ||
| 10/11/2012 | Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt | CBS | 7.3 | 11 | 11.4 | ||
| 09/26/2013 | 11-001 | Nangnangnangnang | CBS | 7.2 | 11 | 11.6 | |
| 05/15/2006 | 03-023 | Arguments for a Quickie (Part 1 of 2) | CBS | 7.3 | 10 | 11 |
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| 05/14/2007 | 04-024 | Prostitutes and Gelato | CBS | 6.3 | 10 | 10.2 |
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| 04/09/2012 | Grandma's Pie | CBS | 6.5 | 10 | 10.4 | ||
| 04/16/2012 | Mr. Hose Says Yes | CBS | 6.8 | 10 | 11.2 | ||
| 04/30/2012 | Why We Gave Up Women | CBS | 7 | 10 | 11.3 | ||
| 05/07/2012 | The Straw in My Donut Hole | CBS | 7 | 10 | 11.4 | ||
| 01/29/2015 | A Beer-Battered Rip-Off | CBS | 6 | 10 | 9.7 | ||
| 02/12/2015 | Don't Give a Monkey a Gun | CBS | 5.9 | 10 | 9.3 | ||
| 12/18/2014 | Clockwise in Back Hole Until Tight | CBS | 5.7 | 10 | 8.8 | ||
| 01/08/2015 | Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey | CBS | 6.2 | 10 | 10.1 | ||
| 01/15/2015 | Here I Come, Pants! | CBS | 5.9 | 10 | 9.4 | ||
| 01/22/2015 | For Whom the Booty Calls | CBS | 5.9 | 10 | 9.3 | ||
| 02/27/2014 | Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin | CBS | 6.2 | 10 | 10 | ||
| 03/06/2014 | How to Get Rid of Alan | CBS | 6.4 | 10 | 10.4 | ||
| 04/10/2014 | Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick | CBS | 6.1 | 10 | 9.5 | ||
| 10/30/2014 | 12-001 | The Ol' Mexican Spinach | CBS | 6.4 | 10 | 10.3 | |
| 12/04/2014 | Alan Shot a Little Girl | CBS | 5.3 | 9 | 8.1 | ||
| 10/03/2013 | I Think I Banged Lucille Ball | CBS | 6 | 9 | 9.3 | ||
| 12/11/2014 | Sex with an Animated Ed Asner | CBS | 5.8 | 9 | 9.3 | ||
| 11/21/2013 | Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. | CBS | 5.4 | 9 | 8.7 | ||
| 12/12/2013 | On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! | CBS | 5.4 | 9 | 8.5 | ||
| 01/09/2014 | Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. | CBS | 5.9 | 9 | 9.6 | ||
| 01/30/2014 | Bite Me, Supreme Court | CBS | 5.6 | 9 | 8.9 | ||
| 03/13/2014 | Welcome Home, Jake | CBS | 5.8 | 9 | 9.4 | ||
| 04/03/2014 | West Side Story | CBS | 5.9 | 9 | 9.2 | ||
| 04/24/2014 | Lotta Delis in Little Armenia | CBS | 5.9 | 9 | 9.3 | ||
| 05/01/2014 | Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot | CBS | 5.7 | 9 | 9 | ||
| 05/08/2014 | Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead | CBS | 5.3 | 9 | 8.3 | ||
| 11/06/2014 | A Chic Bar in Ibiza | CBS | 5.7 | 9 | 9.1 | ||
| 11/13/2014 | Glamping in a Yurt | CBS | 5.5 | 9 | 8.8 | ||
| 11/20/2014 | Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight | CBS | 5.4 | 9 | 8.6 |
