Two and a Half Men
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| Date | Episode # | Title | Network | Rating | Share (↓) | Viewers | Watch/Purchase DVD/Download |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10/19/2009 | 07-005 | For the Sake of the Child | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.1 | 
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| 11/09/2009 | 07-007 | Untainted by Filth | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.4 |
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| 11/16/2009 | 07-008 | Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | CBS | 8.4 | 13 | 13.7 |
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| 12/07/2009 | 07-010 | That's Why They Call It Ball Room | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.8 |
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| 03/22/2010 | 07-018 | Ixnay on the Oggie Day | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.5 |
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| 04/12/2010 | 07-019 | Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave | CBS | 8.3 | 13 | 13.7 |
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| 05/10/2010 | 07-020 | I Called Him Magoo | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.9 |
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| 05/17/2010 | 07-021 | Gumby with a Pokey (a.k.a. Another Hairy Adventure) | CBS | 8.1 | 13 | 13.3 |
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| 09/20/2010 | 08-001 | Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.6 | |
| 09/27/2010 | A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.9 | ||
| 10/04/2010 | A Pudding-Filled Cactus | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | |||
| 11/15/2010 | A Good Time in Central Africa | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.3 | ||
| 11/22/2010 | Ow, Ow, Don't Stop | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.4 | ||
| 12/13/2010 | Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.9 | ||
| 10/17/2011 | A Giant Cat Holding a Churro | CBS | 9.1 | 13 | 15.1 | ||
| 10/24/2011 | The Squat and the Hover | CBS | 9.1 | 13 | 15.3 | ||
| 10/31/2011 | Those Fancy Japanese Toilets | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | |||
| 11/07/2011 | Thank You for the Intercourse | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.7 | ||
| 11/14/2011 | Frodo's Headshots | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.8 | ||
| 11/29/2012 | I Scream When I Pee | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 13.7 | ||
| 12/06/2012 | One Nut Johnson | CBS | 8.4 | 13 | 13.5 | ||
| 12/13/2012 | Give Santa a Tail-Hole | CBS | 8.2 | 13 | 13.3 | ||
| 10/18/2012 | You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.6 | ||
| 11/08/2012 | Avoid the Chinese Mustard | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.1 | ||
| 01/31/2013 | Run Steven Staven! Run! | CBS | 8.4 | 13 | 13.7 | ||
| 09/27/2012 | 10-001 | I Changed My Mind about the Milk | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.5 | |
| 10/04/2012 | A Big Bag of Dog | CBS | 7.6 | 12 | 12.3 | ||
| 04/23/2007 | 04-021 | Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 12.3 |
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| 09/24/2007 | 05-001 | Large Birds, Spiders and Mom | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.6 |
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| 10/01/2007 | 05-002 | Media Room Slash Dungeon | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.2 |
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| 10/08/2007 | 05-003 | Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13 |
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| 10/22/2007 | 05-005 | Putting Swim Fins on a Cat | CBS | 8.7 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 10/29/2007 | 05-006 | Help Daddy Find His Toenail | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.7 |
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| 11/05/2007 | 05-007 | Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.8 |
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| 11/12/2007 | 05-008 | Is There a Mrs. Waffles? | CBS | 8.7 | 12 | 14.1 |
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| 11/19/2007 | 05-009 | Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids (a.k.a. Tight's Good) | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 04/21/2008 | 05-015 | Rough Night in Hump Junction | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.4 |
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| 04/28/2008 | 05-016 | Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 12.9 |
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| 09/29/2008 | 06-002 | Pie Hole, Herb | CBS | 8.4 | 12 | 13.6 |
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| 11/23/2009 | 07-009 | Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 10/11/2010 | Hookers, Hookers, Hooker | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.5 | ||
| 10/18/2010 | The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.5 | ||
| 10/25/2010 | Twanging Your Magic Clanger | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.8 | ||
| 11/01/2010 | The Crazy Bitch Gazette | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.6 | ||
| 11/08/2010 | Springtime on a Stick | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.6 | ||
| 12/06/2010 | Dead from the Waist Down | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 | ||
| 01/02/2012 | Slowly and in a Circular Fashion | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.9 | ||
| 02/06/2012 | The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 13 | ||
| 02/20/2012 | Not in My Mouth! | CBS | 8 | 12 | 13.3 | ||
| 10/25/2012 | That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam | CBS | 8 | 12 | 12.9 |
