Two and a Half Men
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| Date | Episode # | Title | Network | Rating | Share (↑) | Viewers | Watch/Purchase DVD/Download |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 03/19/2007 | 04-018 | It Never Rains in Hooterville | CBS | 7.6 | 11 | 11.7 | 
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| 11/05/2007 | 05-007 | Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.8 |
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| 10/25/2010 | Twanging Your Magic Clanger | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.8 | ||
| 02/20/2012 | Not in My Mouth! | CBS | 8 | 12 | 13.3 | ||
| 11/02/2009 | 07-006 | Give Me Your Thumb | CBS | 8.4 | 12 | 13.5 |
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| 04/25/2013 | Another Night with Neil Diamond | CBS | 7.2 | 12 | 11.3 | ||
| 02/06/2012 | The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 13 | ||
| 11/01/2010 | The Crazy Bitch Gazette | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.6 | ||
| 11/19/2007 | 05-009 | Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids (a.k.a. Tight's Good) | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 03/09/2009 | 06-017 | The Ocu or the Pado? | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 |
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| 05/11/2009 | 06-023 | Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.1 |
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| 09/21/2009 | 07-001 | 818-jklpuzo | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.6 |
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| 11/12/2007 | 05-008 | Is There a Mrs. Waffles? | CBS | 8.7 | 12 | 14.1 |
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| 11/23/2009 | 07-009 | Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 04/21/2008 | 05-015 | Rough Night in Hump Junction | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.4 |
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| 04/28/2008 | 05-016 | Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 12.9 |
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| 10/29/2007 | 05-006 | Help Daddy Find His Toenail | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.7 |
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| 10/25/2012 | That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam | CBS | 8 | 12 | 12.9 | ||
| 11/01/2012 | Ferrets, Attack! | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.7 | ||
| 11/08/2010 | Springtime on a Stick | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.6 | ||
| 12/06/2010 | Dead from the Waist Down | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 | ||
| 02/21/2013 | Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 | ||
| 10/04/2012 | A Big Bag of Dog | CBS | 7.6 | 12 | 12.3 | ||
| 09/28/2009 | 07-002 | Whipped Unto the Third Generation | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 09/29/2008 | 06-002 | Pie Hole, Herb | CBS | 8.4 | 12 | 13.6 |
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| 03/14/2013 | Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon | CBS | 7.7 | 12 | 12.2 | ||
| 01/02/2012 | Slowly and in a Circular Fashion | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.9 | ||
| 10/05/2009 | 07-003 | Mmm, Fish. Yum | CBS | 8.4 | 12 | 13.3 |
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| 09/27/2012 | 10-001 | I Changed My Mind about the Milk | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.5 | |
| 10/11/2010 | Hookers, Hookers, Hooker | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.5 | ||
| 10/18/2010 | The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.5 | ||
| 04/23/2007 | 04-021 | Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 12.3 |
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| 09/24/2007 | 05-001 | Large Birds, Spiders and Mom | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.6 |
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| 10/01/2007 | 05-002 | Media Room Slash Dungeon | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.2 |
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| 10/08/2007 | 05-003 | Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13 |
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| 10/22/2007 | 05-005 | Putting Swim Fins on a Cat | CBS | 8.7 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 03/30/2009 | 06-019 | The Two Finger Rule | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 14.6 |
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| 03/02/2009 | 06-016 | She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime | CBS | 9.2 | 13 | 15.5 |
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| 04/27/2009 | 06-021 | Above Exalted Cyclops | CBS | 8.7 | 13 | 14.2 |
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| 05/04/2009 | 06-022 | Sir Lancelot's Litter Box | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.2 |
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| 02/09/2009 | 06-015 | I'd Like to Start with the Cat | CBS | 9.2 | 13 | 15 |
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| 03/16/2009 | 06-018 | My Son's Enormous Head | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 14.1 |
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| 04/13/2009 | 06-020 | Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 15 |
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| 12/06/2012 | One Nut Johnson | CBS | 8.4 | 13 | 13.5 | ||
| 11/29/2012 | I Scream When I Pee | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 13.7 | ||
| 11/15/2012 | Something My Gynecologist Said | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 13.9 | ||
| 11/22/2010 | Ow, Ow, Don't Stop | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.4 | ||
| 12/13/2012 | Give Santa a Tail-Hole | CBS | 8.2 | 13 | 13.3 | ||
| 12/13/2010 | Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.9 | ||
| 10/15/2007 | 05-004 | City of Great Racks | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 13.7 |
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