Two and a Half Men
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| Date | Episode # | Title | Network | Rating (↓) | Share | Viewers | Watch/Purchase DVD/Download |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11/20/2006 | 04-009 | Corey's Been Dead for an Hour | CBS | 9.4 | 14 | 15 | 
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| 11/26/2007 | 05-010 | Kinda Like Necrophilia | CBS | 9.4 | 14 | 15.3 |
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| 10/03/2005 | 03-003 | Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark | CBS | 9.3 | 14 | 14.2 |
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| 12/05/2011 | What a Lovely Landing Strip | CBS | 9.3 | 14 | 15.2 | ||
| 11/17/2008 | 06-008 | Pinocchio's Mouth | CBS | 9.3 | 13 | 15.2 |
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| 01/17/2011 | Lookin' for Japanese Subs | CBS | 9.3 | 14 | 15.6 | ||
| 05/23/2005 | 02-024 | Does This Smell Funny to You? | CBS | 9.2 | 14 | 14.4 |
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| 05/01/2006 | 03-021 | And the Plot Moistens | CBS | 9.2 | 14 | 14.3 |
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| 12/12/2011 | One False Move, Zimbabwe! | CBS | 9.2 | 14 | 14.9 | ||
| 01/03/2013 | Welcome to Alancrest | CBS | 9.2 | 14 | 15.4 | ||
| 02/09/2009 | 06-015 | I'd Like to Start with the Cat | CBS | 9.2 | 13 | 15 |
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| 03/02/2009 | 06-016 | She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime | CBS | 9.2 | 13 | 15.5 |
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| 04/10/2006 | 03-019 | Golly Moses, She's a Muffin | CBS | 9.1 | 14 | 14.1 |
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| 11/06/2006 | 04-007 | Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head | CBS | 9.1 | 13 | 14.5 |
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| 10/24/2011 | The Squat and the Hover | CBS | 9.1 | 13 | 15.3 | ||
| 10/17/2011 | A Giant Cat Holding a Churro | CBS | 9.1 | 13 | 15.1 | ||
| 09/22/2008 | 06-001 | Taterhead Is Our Love Child | CBS | 9.1 | 13 | 14.9 |
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| 01/03/2011 | Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup | CBS | 9.1 | 14 | 15.4 | ||
| 02/07/2011 | Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak | CBS | 9.1 | 14 | 15.2 | ||
| 05/19/2008 | 05-019 | Waiting for the Right Snapper | CBS | 9 | 14 | 14.7 |
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| 10/13/2008 | 06-004 | The Flavin' and the Mavin | CBS | 9 | 13 | 14.7 |
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| 11/24/2008 | 06-009 | The Mooch at the Boo | CBS | 9 | 13 | 14.9 |
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| 11/07/2011 | Thank You for the Intercourse | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.7 | ||
| 10/20/2008 | 06-005 | A Jack Strap in Hell | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.6 |
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| 11/10/2008 | 06-007 | Best H.O. Money Can Buy | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.5 |
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| 09/20/2010 | 08-001 | Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.6 | |
| 11/09/2009 | 07-007 | Untainted by Filth | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.4 |
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| 11/14/2011 | Frodo's Headshots | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.8 | ||
| 10/15/2007 | 05-004 | City of Great Racks | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 13.7 |
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| 03/31/2008 | 05-013 | The Soil Is Moist | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.5 |
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| 01/10/2013 | Grab a Feather and Get in Line | CBS | 8.8 | 14 | 14.4 | ||
| 10/06/2008 | 06-003 | Damn You, Eggs Benedict | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.1 |
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| 11/08/2012 | Avoid the Chinese Mustard | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.1 | ||
| 04/13/2009 | 06-020 | Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 15 |
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| 12/07/2009 | 07-010 | That's Why They Call It Ball Room | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.8 |
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| 02/14/2011 | That Darn Priest | CBS | 8.7 | 14 | 14.5 | ||
| 04/30/2007 | 04-022 | Mr. McGlue's Feedbag | CBS | 8.7 | 13 | 13.7 |
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| 10/22/2007 | 05-005 | Putting Swim Fins on a Cat | CBS | 8.7 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 11/12/2007 | 05-008 | Is There a Mrs. Waffles? | CBS | 8.7 | 12 | 14.1 |
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| 04/27/2009 | 06-021 | Above Exalted Cyclops | CBS | 8.7 | 13 | 14.2 |
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| 10/12/2009 | 07-004 | Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator | CBS | 8.7 | 13 | 14.2 |
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| 11/29/2012 | I Scream When I Pee | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 13.7 | ||
| 11/15/2012 | Something My Gynecologist Said | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 13.9 | ||
| 03/24/2008 | 05-012 | A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.2 |
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| 03/22/2010 | 07-018 | Ixnay on the Oggie Day | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.5 |
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| 10/04/2010 | A Pudding-Filled Cactus | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | |||
| 05/04/2009 | 06-022 | Sir Lancelot's Litter Box | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.2 |
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| 11/15/2010 | A Good Time in Central Africa | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.3 | ||
| 10/19/2009 | 07-005 | For the Sake of the Child | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.1 |
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| 11/22/2010 | Ow, Ow, Don't Stop | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.4 |
