Two and a Half Men
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| Date | Episode # | Title (↓) | Network | Rating | Share | Viewers | Watch/Purchase DVD/Download |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01/19/2009 | 06-013 | I Think You Offended Don | CBS | 9.8 | 14 | 16.1 | 
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| 10/03/2013 | I Think I Banged Lucille Ball | CBS | 6 | 9 | 9.3 | ||
| 11/29/2012 | I Scream When I Pee | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 13.7 | ||
| 03/22/2004 | 01-019 | I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You | CBS | 10.9 | 17 | 16.4 |
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| 02/26/2007 | 04-017 | I Merely Slept with a Commie | CBS | 10.4 | 15 | 16.6 |
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| 03/08/2010 | 07-017 | I Found Your Moustache | CBS | 10.5 | 16 | 17.6 |
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| 09/27/2012 | 10-001 | I Changed My Mind about the Milk | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.5 | |
| 02/02/2004 | 01-014 | I Can't Afford Hyenas | CBS | 10.7 | 16 | 16.5 |
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| 05/10/2010 | 07-020 | I Called Him Magoo | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.9 |
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| 04/18/2005 | 02-020 | I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey | CBS | 10.8 | 16 | 17.1 |
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| 01/23/2006 | 03-013 | Humiliation Is a Visual Medium | CBS | 10.7 | 15 | 17.1 |
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| 03/06/2014 | How to Get Rid of Alan | CBS | 6.4 | 10 | 10.4 | ||
| 10/11/2010 | Hookers, Hookers, Hooker | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.5 | ||
| 10/24/2005 | 03-006 | Hi, Mr. Horned One | CBS | 10.8 | 15 | 16.8 |
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| 04/19/2004 | 01-020 | Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark | CBS | 9.6 | 14 | 14.6 |
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| 01/15/2015 | Here I Come, Pants! | CBS | 5.9 | 10 | 9.4 | ||
| 10/29/2007 | 05-006 | Help Daddy Find His Toenail | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.7 |
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| 04/13/2009 | 06-020 | Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 15 |
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| 12/08/2008 | 06-010 | He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited | CBS | 9.5 | 14 | 15.6 |
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| 05/17/2010 | 07-021 | Gumby with a Pokey (a.k.a. Another Hairy Adventure) | CBS | 8.1 | 13 | 13.3 |
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| 04/09/2012 | Grandma's Pie | CBS | 6.5 | 10 | 10.4 | ||
| 01/10/2013 | Grab a Feather and Get in Line | CBS | 8.8 | 14 | 14.4 | ||
| 11/16/2009 | 07-008 | Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | CBS | 8.4 | 13 | 13.7 |
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| 05/11/2009 | 06-023 | Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.1 |
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| 04/10/2006 | 03-019 | Golly Moses, She's a Muffin | CBS | 9.1 | 14 | 14.1 |
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| 10/11/2004 | 02-004 | Go Get Mommy's Bra | CBS | 11.1 | 16 | 17.2 |
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| 10/06/2003 | 01-003 | Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell | CBS | 9.6 | 14 | 14.8 |
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| 11/13/2014 | Glamping in a Yurt | CBS | 5.5 | 9 | 8.8 | ||
| 12/13/2012 | Give Santa a Tail-Hole | CBS | 8.2 | 13 | 13.3 | ||
| 11/02/2009 | 07-006 | Give Me Your Thumb | CBS | 8.4 | 12 | 13.5 |
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| 11/14/2011 | Frodo's Headshots | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.8 | ||
| 11/15/2004 | 02-008 | Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers | CBS | 11.5 | 17 |
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| 10/11/2012 | Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt | CBS | 7.3 | 11 | 11.4 | ||
| 01/22/2015 | For Whom the Booty Calls | CBS | 5.9 | 10 | 9.3 | ||
| 10/19/2009 | 07-005 | For the Sake of the Child | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.1 |
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| 05/05/2008 | 05-017 | Fish in a Drawer | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.6 |
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| 11/01/2012 | Ferrets, Attack! | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.7 | ||
| 01/11/2010 | 07-012 | Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste | CBS | 10.1 | 15 | 17.3 |
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| 03/06/2006 | 03-016 | Ergo, the Booty Call | CBS | 10.9 | 16 | 17.1 |
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| 09/27/2004 | 02-002 | Enjoy Those Garlic Balls | CBS | 10.9 | 16 | 16.6 |
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| 10/08/2007 | 05-003 | Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13 |
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| 01/22/2007 | 04-013 | Don't Worry, Speed Racer | CBS | 10 | 14 | 15.8 |
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| 02/12/2015 | Don't Give a Monkey a Gun | CBS | 5.9 | 10 | 9.3 | ||
| 05/23/2005 | 02-024 | Does This Smell Funny to You? | CBS | 9.2 | 14 | 14.4 |
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| 10/27/2003 | 01-006 | Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? | CBS | 10.5 | 16 | 15.8 |
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| 05/01/2014 | Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot | CBS | 5.7 | 9 | 9 | ||
| 12/06/2010 | Dead from the Waist Down | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 | ||
| 02/02/2009 | 06-014 | David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie | CBS | 10 | 15 | 16.6 |
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| 10/06/2008 | 06-003 | Damn You, Eggs Benedict | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.1 |
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| 04/10/2014 | Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick | CBS | 6.1 | 10 | 9.5 |
