Two and a Half Men
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| Date | Episode # | Title (↓) | Network | Rating | Share | Viewers | Watch/Purchase DVD/Download |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01/17/2005 | 02-013 | Zejdz z Moich Wlosow (a.k.a. Get Off My Hair) | CBS | 11.3 | 15 | 18.1 | 
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| 10/10/2005 | 03-004 | Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs | CBS | 9.8 | 14 | 15.2 |
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| 02/19/2007 | 04-016 | Young People Have Phlegm Too | CBS | 10.4 | 15 | 16.6 |
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| 10/18/2012 | You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.6 | ||
| 11/22/2004 | 02-009 | Yes, Monsignor | CBS | 12.3 | 18 | 18.9 |
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| 01/18/2010 | 07-013 | Yay, No Polyps! | CBS | 9.6 | 14 | 16.3 |
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| 09/18/2006 | 04-001 | Working for Caligula | CBS | 9.7 | 14 | 15.1 |
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| 02/21/2005 | 02-017 | Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! | CBS | 10.9 | 16 | 17.5 |
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| 04/14/2008 | 05-014 | Winky-Dink Time | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.9 |
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| 04/30/2012 | Why We Gave Up Women | CBS | 7 | 10 | 11.3 | ||
| 09/25/2006 | 04-002 | Who's Vod Kanockers? | CBS | 9.9 | 15 | 15.3 |
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| 09/28/2009 | 07-002 | Whipped Unto the Third Generation | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.9 |
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| 12/05/2011 | What a Lovely Landing Strip | CBS | 9.3 | 14 | 15.2 | ||
| 04/03/2014 | West Side Story | CBS | 5.9 | 9 | 9.2 | ||
| 01/03/2013 | Welcome to Alancrest | CBS | 9.2 | 14 | 15.4 | ||
| 03/13/2014 | Welcome Home, Jake | CBS | 5.8 | 9 | 9.4 | ||
| 09/19/2005 | 03-001 | Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts | CBS | 9.8 | 14 | 15 |
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| 10/17/2005 | 03-005 | We Called It Mr. Pinky | CBS | 10.2 | 15 | 15.6 |
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| 12/14/2009 | 07-011 | Warning, It's Dirty | CBS | 9.8 | 15 | 16.4 |
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| 12/11/2006 | 04-011 | Walnuts and Demerol | CBS | 10 | 15 | 15.7 |
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| 05/19/2008 | 05-019 | Waiting for the Right Snapper | CBS | 9 | 14 | 14.7 |
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| 11/09/2009 | 07-007 | Untainted by Filth | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.4 |
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| 11/10/2003 | 01-008 | Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful | CBS | 10.1 | 15 | 15.8 |
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| 10/25/2010 | Twanging Your Magic Clanger | CBS | 8.3 | 12 | 13.8 | ||
| 04/23/2007 | 04-021 | Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 12.3 |
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| 03/01/2010 | 07-016 | Tinkle Like a Princess | CBS | 10.1 | 15 | 16.9 |
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| 02/21/2013 | Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 | ||
| 02/07/2011 | Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak | CBS | 9.1 | 14 | 15.2 | ||
| 09/20/2010 | 08-001 | Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud | CBS | 8.9 | 13 | 14.6 | |
| 02/06/2014 | Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe | CBS | 5.2 | 8 | 8.3 | ||
| 10/31/2011 | Those Fancy Japanese Toilets | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | |||
| 01/31/2005 | 02-014 | Those Big Pink Things with Coconuts | CBS | 11.2 | 16 | 17 |
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| 10/10/2013 | This Unblessed Biscuit | CBS | 5.8 | 9 | 9.1 | ||
| 05/24/2010 | 07-022 | This Is Not Gonna End Well | CBS | 9.5 | 15 | 15.5 |
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| 11/20/2014 | Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight | CBS | 5.4 | 9 | 8.6 | ||
| 02/27/2012 | The War Against Gingivitis | CBS | 7.5 | 11 | 11.9 | ||
| 03/13/2006 | 03-017 | The Unfortunate Little Schnauser | CBS | 10.8 | 16 | 17.4 |
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| 03/30/2009 | 06-019 | The Two Finger Rule | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 14.6 |
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| 05/07/2012 | The Straw in My Donut Hole | CBS | 7 | 10 | 11.4 | ||
| 10/24/2011 | The Squat and the Hover | CBS | 9.1 | 13 | 15.3 | ||
| 03/20/2006 | 03-018 | The Spit-Covered Cobbler | CBS | 10.5 | 15 | 16.7 |
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| 03/31/2008 | 05-013 | The Soil Is Moist | CBS | 8.8 | 13 | 14.5 |
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| 10/02/2006 | 04-003 | The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress | CBS | 10.2 | 15 | 15.8 |
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| 11/29/2004 | 02-010 | The Salmon Under My Sweater | CBS | 11.6 | 17 | 17.9 |
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| 10/25/2004 | 02-006 | The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance | CBS | 11.2 | 16 | 17.2 |
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| 10/30/2014 | 12-001 | The Ol' Mexican Spinach | CBS | 6.4 | 10 | 10.3 | |
| 03/09/2009 | 06-017 | The Ocu or the Pado? | CBS | 8.1 | 12 | 13.4 |
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| 11/24/2008 | 06-009 | The Mooch at the Boo | CBS | 9 | 13 | 14.9 |
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| 10/20/2003 | 01-005 | The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump | CBS | 9.9 | 15 | 15.2 |
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| 10/18/2010 | The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.5 |
