Two and a Half Men
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| Date | Episode # | Title (↑) | Network | Rating | Share | Viewers | Watch/Purchase DVD/Download |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01/23/2006 | 03-013 | Humiliation Is a Visual Medium | CBS | 10.7 | 15 | 17.1 | 
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| 04/18/2005 | 02-020 | I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey | CBS | 10.8 | 16 | 17.1 |
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| 05/10/2010 | 07-020 | I Called Him Magoo | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.9 |
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| 02/02/2004 | 01-014 | I Can't Afford Hyenas | CBS | 10.7 | 16 | 16.5 |
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| 09/27/2012 | 10-001 | I Changed My Mind about the Milk | CBS | 7.8 | 12 | 12.5 | |
| 03/08/2010 | 07-017 | I Found Your Moustache | CBS | 10.5 | 16 | 17.6 |
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| 02/26/2007 | 04-017 | I Merely Slept with a Commie | CBS | 10.4 | 15 | 16.6 |
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| 03/22/2004 | 01-019 | I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You | CBS | 10.9 | 17 | 16.4 |
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| 11/29/2012 | I Scream When I Pee | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 13.7 | ||
| 10/03/2013 | I Think I Banged Lucille Ball | CBS | 6 | 9 | 9.3 | ||
| 01/19/2009 | 06-013 | I Think You Offended Don | CBS | 9.8 | 14 | 16.1 |
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| 02/09/2009 | 06-015 | I'd Like to Start with the Cat | CBS | 9.2 | 13 | 15 |
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| 10/13/2003 | 01-004 | If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap | CBS | 9.7 | 14 | 14.7 |
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| 05/12/2008 | 05-018 | If My Hole Could Talk (a.k.a. Finish Your Yemisir Kik Wat) | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 13.8 |
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| 11/03/2003 | 01-007 | If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake | CBS | 10.7 | 16 | 16 |
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| 11/12/2007 | 05-008 | Is There a Mrs. Waffles? | CBS | 8.7 | 12 | 14.1 |
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| 03/19/2007 | 04-018 | It Never Rains in Hooterville | CBS | 7.6 | 11 | 11.7 |
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| 03/07/2005 | 02-018 | It Was Mame, Mom | CBS | 11.4 | 17 | 17.4 |
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| 11/03/2008 | 06-006 | It's Always Nazi Week | CBS | 8 | 11 | 12.8 |
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| 03/22/2010 | 07-018 | Ixnay on the Oggie Day | CBS | 8.6 | 13 | 14.5 |
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| 05/17/2004 | 01-023 | Just Like Buffalo | CBS | 9.9 | 15 | 15.2 |
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| 05/08/2006 | 03-022 | Just Once with Aunt Sophie | CBS | 9.7 | 14 | 14.9 |
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| 11/07/2013 | Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants | CBS | 5.1 | 8 | 8.3 | ||
| 04/12/2010 | 07-019 | Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave | CBS | 8.3 | 13 | 13.7 |
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| 11/26/2007 | 05-010 | Kinda Like Necrophilia | CBS | 9.4 | 14 | 15.3 |
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| 11/27/2006 | 04-010 | Kissing Abraham Lincoln | CBS | 9.8 | 14 | 15.5 |
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| 09/24/2007 | 05-001 | Large Birds, Spiders and Mom | CBS | 8.5 | 12 | 13.6 |
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| 12/13/2004 | 02-011 | Last Chance to See Those Tattoos | CBS | 16.2 |
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| 10/12/2009 | 07-004 | Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator | CBS | 8.7 | 13 | 14.2 |
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| 04/28/2008 | 05-016 | Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty | CBS | 7.9 | 12 | 12.9 |
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| 01/17/2011 | Lookin' for Japanese Subs | CBS | 9.3 | 14 | 15.6 | ||
| 04/24/2014 | Lotta Delis in Little Armenia | CBS | 5.9 | 9 | 9.3 | ||
| 02/06/2006 | 03-014 | Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded | CBS | 10.3 | 15 | 16.3 |
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| 11/21/2005 | 03-009 | Madame and Her Special Friend | CBS | 10.1 | 15 | 15.7 |
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| 03/17/2008 | 05-011 | Meander to Your Dander | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 14.1 |
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| 10/01/2007 | 05-002 | Media Room Slash Dungeon | CBS | 8.2 | 12 | 13.2 |
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| 11/24/2003 | 01-010 | Merry Thanksgiving | CBS | 11 | 16 | 17.1 |
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| 10/05/2009 | 07-003 | Mmm, Fish. Yum | CBS | 8.4 | 12 | 13.3 |
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| 04/16/2012 | Mr. Hose Says Yes | CBS | 6.8 | 10 | 11.2 | ||
| 04/30/2007 | 04-022 | Mr. McGlue's Feedbag | CBS | 8.7 | 13 | 13.7 |
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| 11/21/2013 | Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. | CBS | 5.4 | 9 | 8.7 | ||
| 05/02/2013 | My Bodacious Vidalia | CBS | 7.8 | 13 | 12.1 | ||
| 02/12/2007 | 04-015 | My Damn Stalker | CBS | 10 | 14 | 15.5 |
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| 05/10/2004 | 01-022 | My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet | CBS | 10.4 | 16 | 16 |
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| 03/16/2009 | 06-018 | My Son's Enormous Head | CBS | 8.5 | 13 | 14.1 |
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| 02/27/2006 | 03-015 | My Tongue Is Meat | CBS | 10.8 | 16 | 17 |
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| 09/26/2013 | 11-001 | Nangnangnangnang | CBS | 7.2 | 11 | 11.6 | |
| 09/19/2011 | 09-001 | Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt | CBS | 16.7 | 24 | 28.7 | |
| 10/10/2011 | Nine Magic Fingers | CBS | 9.7 | 14 | 16.2 | ||
| 05/03/2004 | 01-021 | No Sniffing, No Wowing | CBS | 10.5 | 15 | 16.2 |
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