Plot Synopsis

As a parody news channel, ONION NEWS NETWORK (ONN) is the nation's number-one source for breaking news, screaming political arguments and vital information on missing teenage Caucasian girls. Plus, ONN showcases the network's top-rated prime time show, a hyperactive graphics and sound effect-laden news explosion called "FactZone with Brooke Alvarez," hosted by the world's most respected news-reader and her co-host, Tucker Hope. Other ONN programs include: "Today Now!" with co-hosts Jim Haggerty and Tracy Gill, who try out new recipes and find out what's killing America's children; "The Cressbeckler Stance with Joad Cressbeckler" with angry political commentator Joad Cressbeckler, who opines on everything from returning to the gold standard to skinning a raccoon; "Star Fix" with the lovely Madison Daly, who dishes celebrity-addicted Americans their desperately needed dose of entertainment news; "Cross Examination with Shelby Cross" with former prosecutor Shelby Cross, who reports on the latest legal cases and determines who's guilty without the need for pesky evidence; "Eye On America" where ONN taps one of its 12,408 local affiliates for a glimpse at what's happening with the little people.